The PASTOR Wife. Part 2

Previously on this article, I wrote about what the ministry of a pastor's wife really entails. What they (pastor's wife) are called to do in times of trouble and confusion as well as their role as a mother and role model in the church. Today I will be writing conclusively on this article.

Many of our pastors and spouses have chosen to be co-pastors in the church. The husband is actually the lead pastor but giving a place of respect for his spouse, as they are one. Co-pastors often share in the goals and vision of the church, sometimes filling the pulpit or sharing a word of encouragement to the body. Most co-pastors allow the lead pastor, which is usually the husband, to assume the business responsibilities, counseling, and be more visible in the regular duties of a pastor.

Whether you designate for both of you, being co-pastors, there is definitely strength in numbers. I mentioned earlier about God calling the whole man, both husband and wife, becoming one flesh. It is very powerful in the spiritual realm. "And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. " (Ecclesiastes 4:12) In marriage, God can be invited to be the third cord and with him, nothing that you pray and work for is impossible to achieve. You can approach the specific area of ministry to which your husband is called as a team.

How you divide up the work will be up to the two of you based on your personal gift sets and prayer as you seek God's plan.
I also believe that one of the remarkable duties of a pastor’s wife is to place balance in the ministry and marriage. Too often, a pastor can be so busy helping and giving out to others, he neglects family life and intimacy with his wife. If we truly have a picture of Christ and His bride, the church, there will be balance.

Let your husband be the lead pastor of the church and let him be your heartbeat ! Have fun and enjoy one another to the fullest! Make time for small outings together and alone. Don’t let vacations be surrounding around ministry activities but make time for one another. Remember, once your ministry is over, you hope to still have one another, loving and caring for each other.

Don’t be intimidated!

Some wives become intimidated by previous pastor’s wives doing things differently. Congregations often remind a pastor’s wife that the former pastor’s wife did it this way or that way. This can be very annoying and almost creates a confrontation. Be patient. People are creatures of habit. It is easier to do things the same way for years. It may take some time, but be yourself. Love the people, win them over, and create change slowly.

Be real! 

Don’t try to live up to the expectations of others but gently be yourself. People often place the pastor and his family on a pedestal. It is good that others show respect for the office of pastor, but people need to see that you are also human and real. People are looking for realness, both spiritually as well as personally.

Be careful in who you confide with!

Many pastors and their wives have chosen to find a person outside of the church with whom to confide on personal and church issues. Due to the high expectations from others and the nature of pastors dealing with the weaknesses of others, people can often lose their respect for the role of the pastor.

Don’t gossip or share anything negative about a church member!

You are a witness as well as an example for others to follow. We should be encouraging everyone to think on those things that are good! Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Philippians 4:8.

Find a spiritual mentor!

It is hard for church members to know the difficulties of the ministry. It is good to have someone that can bring encouragement in your life as well as godly wisdom. Don’t try to do everything by yourself. God has placed people on this earth that can help, if you will allow them to do so.

Compliment and help create your dynasty!

Never talk negatively about your spouse in front of anyone. Team together for one purpose, produce unity at every level, help build your ministry as a team that will be lasting and fulfilling. I do not believe any church should have a revolving door with ministers coming and going.

Help encourage church members to catch the vision of the pastor! 

Pastor’s wives can be instrumental in encouraging others to catch the vision and purpose of the church. Do not argue with others who do not share the same vision or have other ways to obtain goals. I am reminded that there are different ways to paint a house. It is not important to argue which is the best way but all to work together for the same goal. Positive statements along with positive non-verbal communication can guide others along a positive path. Does a soft word turneth away wrath, Proverbs 15:1? There are times when we need to overlook or avoid battles for the sake of winning the war.

Pray with your husband everyday!!!

It is imperative that every pastor’s wife pray for the hedge of protection to be around her husband and family every day. Pray that God will place guardian angels around about, protecting and guarding against all evil or hindrances that may cause harm or problems for you. Pray for wisdom, protecting all your possessions, and sending provision from the north, south, east, and west, blessing your health and work places, and to be the person God wants for you to be that day! Some things are only accomplished through prayer and fasting! Mark 9:29.












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